This weekend......

SO the weekend started off with hope. David and I planned on going to the lake house to hang out and help finish the plumbing. We were leaving early in the morning until... another argument begun. I always heard that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but it hasn't gotten any easier. We seem to argue over the dumbest things and both of us are so stubborn that we drag it out, say things that we don't mean (he better not mean them)and make the situation worse. I decided I needed some space and so I packed a bag, kissed my dog goodbye and split. I went shopping (just looking not buying) and contemplated going to the lake by myself. I had looked forward to it all week and was determined not to let him take that away from me. But if you know me you know I hate driving by myself so in the end I chickened out. Instead I spent the night at my Granny's with mom to help give her a break. We took care of Papaw so she could sleep. We cooked steaks on the grill and swam. It was really nice. Papaw wakes up off and on. He woke up around 2 and stayed awake awhile-then again at 4 and stayed awake. My heart breaks every time I look at him. I cant hold myself together so I sneak out of the room for awhile. Everything hurts him- when we have to move him he grimaces and makes the most awful faces. I always tell him I am sorry for hurting him and he tells me I didn't but I know that he is just saying that. I have lost loved ones before, but I have never been there first hand to watch them slowly slip away. It is truly the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I know there are lots of people praying for our family and Papaw. PLEASE ask the Lord to help him not be in pain-not to hurt when his loved ones touch him. Keep praying and thanks for thinking of us. It means the world to me.